Monday, August 07, 2006

"Did you change the ESPN Insider password?"

"Did you change my Friendster profile?"

J: Owen and I

Sunday, August 06, 2006

"And you have a chance to win tickets to Chicago's Northside professional baseball team."

J: AT&T DSL radio commercial line

Saturday, August 05, 2006

"Is Chris there?"

"No, he's out studying."

"No, I mean Chris Benson"

J: Chris B., recounting a phone exchange between his roommate and his mom

Friday, August 04, 2006

"She can be my roommate."

J: Taty, on Tony's girlfriend

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

"I have had the young men sleep outside my hotel room door."

J: Monica Rial, on the Macross DVD commentary, about fanboys

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

"My sister says you should be a model."

J: Monica M.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

"Wait, was that Superman or Batman?"

J: Dexter, forgetting which ride we were on

Thursday, July 27, 2006

"Your pic is a little... awful."

J: Sun Young

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

"Do you still have $0.49 hamburgers?"


"I'll have four of them."

"Four what?"

J: Exchange at the McDonald's drive thru

""I thought we had one of those necrophiliac rules..."
O: Co-worker Brandi, who may have meant nepotism, though I'm not sure

Monday, July 24, 2006

mahkuross (2:53:57 PM): spent the last hour talking to some other guys
mahkuross (2:53:59 PM): wasting time
mahkuross (2:54:00 PM): hehehe
Tamehome (2:54:04 PM): hehe
Tamehome (2:54:13 PM): should be [talking] to some other girls...
Tamehome (2:54:24 PM): talking to other guys there is a waste, haha

J: More chat madness

Sunday, July 23, 2006

"It's like the World Cup, but with better shoes!"

J: Tony, telling me what the announcer said at the Miss Universe competition

Saturday, July 22, 2006

"I'm bad luck."

J: Rhonda

Friday, July 21, 2006

"When you read something, you hear it, so you're reading and hearing it."

J: Jason, on why typing "jaj" is worse than saying it

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

"Three minutes, forty-four seconds."

O: Photojournalist Steve, on how long my story was (my live intro and tags were WAAAAAAAAYYYY too long)

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

"If I look old and decrepit, it's because I am."

J: Sign for Siberian Tiger exhibit in Henry Doorly Zoo

Monday, July 17, 2006

J: Owen said something amusing, but I'm not posting it

"Jeff, you know what this means?" "...?" "Prayer works."

O: What Jeff didn't want to post

Sunday, July 16, 2006

"Confucius say: lovers in triangle, not on square."

J: Owen's fortune (interpretation pending)

Saturday, July 15, 2006

"Why are you taking so long?... Don't go to Nebraska, it sucks... Why was I there? Because of your mom... No, you have a good one."

J: Obnoxious (drunk?) lady behind me in the ATM line

Friday, July 14, 2006

"Everyone's getting married on October 7th."

J: Andy, at Vicky's B-day dinner

Thursday, July 13, 2006

"Classical music doesn't really make good workout music."

J: Tony

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

"If I call an iso-'Bionic Woman,' that'll mean 'Jeff.'"

"If I call an iso-'George,' that'll mean 'Jeff.'"

J: Phil, then Dave, from summer league

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

We're back!

J: Finally

Sunday, June 04, 2006

"Good chance you'll die tonight..."
"Tune in tonight, or you might die."

- John Campbell, on potential 10pm show promo lines.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

"What's the name of that chick who wanted you? Jenny Phoenix?"

J: Venkat, who either had Chinatown or X-Men on his mind

Friday, May 19, 2006


J: Toast of the night

Thursday, May 18, 2006

"I like the Sox more because I know too many douchebag Cubs fans."

J: Out-of-towner Jon R.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

DaVinci Chode.

Starring Tom Wanks.

J: The Adult video version of DaVinci Code

Sunday, May 14, 2006

"Say my name!"

"Margaret? Judy? Roger?"

J: Line from Robot Chicken, parodying Golden Girls

Saturday, May 13, 2006

"That was like a big circle of 'what-the-hell?'"

O: Mike Richard

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Me: "Does being police chief make you morbid?"

Chief Stacey: "No, just objective."

O: Chief Stacey, after a half-joking pessimistic reply to a question

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

"Just because I'm a cannibal doesn't mean I'm a murderer."

O: Jeff


J: Verb of the day

Monday, May 08, 2006

"This is not how medicine should be."

J: Neha P., mocking the dean and the Rush slogan

Sunday, May 07, 2006

"Amazing, though, that the fire only burned his eyes."

J: Owen, regarding a K-pop video (sentiment shared by Tony and me)

Saturday, May 06, 2006

"I need you to find me the number for Empire Carpet."

J: Dad (feel free to sing the answer)

Friday, May 05, 2006

"Did you know that Strong Bad looks like the spinomedullary junction?"

J: Josh G., (and in the words of Homestar Runner, "It's true.")

Thursday, May 04, 2006

"and if i learned anything from anime, nerdy boys love forward girls"

O: Jeff

"The West Wing presents a presidential fantasy-level utopia. 24 does the opposite: It converts the office into a fantasy dystopia."

O: Syracuse University media professor Robert Thompson

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

"Why would a [crossover] between... be good at martial arts?"

J: Worst joke I've made in a very long time (and I tell bad jokes often)

Monday, May 01, 2006

"Hoes Hootin' and Hollerin' at Sexy So"

J: Fake Mainichi Shimbum headline

Sunday, April 30, 2006

J: Insert Chris Kaman/Reggie Evans joke here

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

"Invented love so you could be/Infatuated just with me."
- Fuel praise song

Monday, April 24, 2006

"What were you doing, making out?"

J: Anna C., speculating on my injury

Saturday, April 22, 2006

"I got it."

J: Often ignored words during the softball tournament

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

"Guess who?"

"A.J. Pierzynski."

J: Wayne Larivee and Johnny "Red" Kerr, on Andres Nocioni

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


J: Estimated score of last night's softball game my team lost

Monday, April 17, 2006

The Warriors' Jason Richardson has confirmed that it hurts to dunk. Said Richardson: "When you dunk it hard and come down screaming, `Ahhhhh,' everybody gets into it. But you're really screaming, `Ahhhhh, my arm!'

J: Sam Smith column

Sunday, April 16, 2006

"Looks like you had lot's of communication problems."

J: Brian Y.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

"Never again will I talk about HONK HONK!"

J: Owen's promise, cut off by the Coors Light truck

Thursday, April 13, 2006


"Dog, I respect you."

J: Random fellow on the el, to me

"I like your tie."

J: Five different people

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

"Arjun would be their punishment."

J: Anthony So, expressing distaste for the softball t-shirt design

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

"Did you throw up? Oh, you threw down."

O: Jeff

Monday, April 10, 2006

"When did I say that?"

J: Tony, the liar

Sunday, April 09, 2006

"What's her name? Roger Park? Rosa Parks?"

J: Venkat

Saturday, April 08, 2006

"It's spelled C-H-A-N-G."

J: Ben's advice for note writing.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Crick crick crick

J: Sound of my shaking my head

Thursday, April 06, 2006

J: Jon K. and Michelle T., with the worst t-shirt idea ever.
(It's too crappy to quote)

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

"If you pinch my right nipple, I'm going to say, 'ouch.' If I pinch your right nipple, you're going to say 'ouch.' A foul is a foul and a flagrant is a flagrant."

J: Shaq, interpreting how the fouls committed against him should be called

Monday, April 03, 2006

"And golddigging fans with bleach-blonde seductions,
Paternity Suits in every city,
Courtside in the paint, fade away in your face,
Courtside in the paint, fade away in your face..."

J: Dirk Nowitzki's "Courtside".

Sunday, April 02, 2006

"Let's stay."

J: Joe's decision to wait out what turned out to be a 2 hr, 57 minute rain delay. Sox won, 10-4

Friday, March 31, 2006

"Remember the five minute rule in college?"

J: Many classmates, after the Immunology professor never showed

Thursday, March 30, 2006

"One... two... three strikes, you're out!"

J: M. Bison's horrible dialogue changes made for the American Street Fighter II Animated Movie

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


J: Type of Taiwanese beverage

Saturday, March 25, 2006

"Fools aren't born, Pongo. Pretty girls make them in their spare time."

-Owen, quoting something

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Whiff and thud!

J: Simultaneous sounds of a swing and miss and a batting practice baseball hitting the backstop

Saturday, March 18, 2006

"What's it called?"


"In Korean, ee-nyun is a bad thing to call a girl."

J: Taty, I, and Dad, respectively

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

"Beware the Ides of March!"

J: Soothsayer from Shakespeare's Julius Caesar

Monday, March 13, 2006

J: Take your pick...

"We have biochem today, right?"
- Pete L., asking what exam we had today

"Leonardo's a pussy."
- Samad S., on his least favorite Ninja Turtle

"[Soundwave's] outdated now."
- Yasir K., noting that nobody has tape players anymore.

"Cobra la la la la la la la la la!"
- Samad and I

Sunday, March 12, 2006

"Women make you retarded."

J: M2's, teaching us about Fragile X Syndrome

Saturday, March 11, 2006

"Tell me your screen name isn't 'smegma.' That better be your friend's."

"But it's not really 'smegma.' It's actually 'S-M-3-G-M-A."

J: Caelan J. and I

Friday, March 10, 2006

"How about Kathy Bates?"

J: Thomas W.'s suggestion for doing the voiceover for audio flashcards

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

"I'm not trying to destroy anyone."

J: Author of the upcoming book on Bonds' steroid use

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

"I want to become a physician because I don't want to live a monogamous lifestyle."

"What's the name of the process in which male gametes are created? Spermatogeniuses."

"When body temperature rises, estrogen is formed..."

J: Quotes shared with us today in Physiology

Monday, March 06, 2006

"Um. Uh."

J: Most quoted words from today's Physio class

Sunday, March 05, 2006

“Not only will we win, but also we’ll make Japanese baseball fans feel that they saw a truly great game. I want to make [Korea and Taiwan] see that they will not be able to beat Japan in the next 30 years.”

J: Ichiro Suzuki, through translator (Korea beat Japan this morning, 3-2)

Saturday, March 04, 2006

so (Korean) = vaca (Spanish) = homonym of baka (Japanese) = idiot

J: 6 degrees of evidence that Tony's stupid

Thursday, March 02, 2006

"We'll take a vote."

J: Dr. Cole

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

"That's still no excuse for gluttony."

J: Tony

Saturday, February 25, 2006

"You're wearing an undershirt!"

J: Two people I haven't seen since 12/16/05

Friday, February 24, 2006

"I'm such a whore..."

O: Jeff

Thursday, February 23, 2006

"I'm such a woman!"

J: Pete L., in front of Allison M. and Monica M., after missing a layup

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Jenny K: Jeff's really popular with the ladies.
Chris B: Yeah, I know.

J: Liars!

Monday, February 20, 2006

"What other gay things can we do?"

- Owen, about his day in Des Moines

Thursday, February 16, 2006

"Do you speak English?"

J: Lady, to me and Samad

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

"You can't spit on a smiling face."

J: Some Korean woman's BS motto

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

"But you still have to work out [if you use steroids]. You should know."

J: Brian C., to me

Sunday, February 12, 2006

"I have pantyhose that old!"

O: Sheila, a person I met at church, on my age.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

"Most of these games suck."

J: Gamestop employee, pointing to biggest wall in the store

Friday, February 10, 2006

"We've seen you."

J: Dr. Michael, noting his awareness of sleep deprivation during exams

Thursday, February 09, 2006

"That's the best part of discovering proteins. You get to name them, like Sonic Hedgehog protein."

J: Dr. Knudson

Sunday, February 05, 2006

"The best part was when one of them started speaking in tongues."

J: Joe, about fellow train passengers

Saturday, February 04, 2006

"You must've been a ninja in a past life."

J: Michelle T.

Friday, February 03, 2006

"Do you remember Two Scoops?"

J: Steve L., talking American Gladiators (Of course I do!)

Sunday, January 29, 2006

"And he didn't even spell 'Alderaan' correctly!"

J: Comment about Physio Practice Test question

Saturday, January 28, 2006

On nasty ho.

J: Anagram for "Anthony So"

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

"[Your body] is more like a teepee [than a temple]."

J: Bryan R., to Ajay Y.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

"There are no consequences for being a dumbass!"

J: Kevin N.

Monday, January 23, 2006

"That's illegal. I'll call the cops on them. It's just not cool."

J: David Y.'s feelings on the Biochemistry final

Sunday, January 22, 2006

"There are far worse things to dream about than..."

O: Jeff

Friday, January 20, 2006

"So tonight you're going to watch Superman and read Netter."

J: Vishal K., guessing what's on tap for tonight's agenda

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

"You will make out with your crush at a bar, and Ajay will see you."

J: Brad H.'s fortune, c/o Michelle T. and Caelan J.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

"I'm Eastern European... but Eastern Europeans, compared to African and Asian Americans, are wimps."

J: Dr. Marschke, regarding patients' dealing with pain

Monday, January 16, 2006


J: Ankur and I, after I ended a streak of 8 straight missed jumpers

Sunday, January 15, 2006

SM3 gma (6:18:42 PM): what i wouldn't give for an x10 in sam's apt right now

J: Nosy Tony

Saturday, January 14, 2006

J: Take your pick from 40 Year Old Virgin

"You know how I know you're gay"
"You like Coldplay."

"Oh, so you wrote 'Hoe fo' sho'?"
"Yeah, I remember that girl. She was a hoe, for sho."

"Smoke my pole."

"Yooooooow! Kelly Clarkson!"

"Life is about people. It's about connections..."

Friday, January 13, 2006

"Your body is a work of art."

J: Yasir

Thursday, January 12, 2006

"Jeff Omo. Jeff Longhead... That's not what I meant."

J: Dr. Williams

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

"Chuck Norris appeared in the Street Fighter II video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this 'glitch,' Norris replied, 'That's no glitch.'"

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Yasir: Oh Shari, you came and you gave me a turkey...
Jeff: On my vacation away from worky

Later, in a totally unrelated incident...

Owen: Oh Jeff Jhee, you came and you gave me a turkey...

Sunday, January 08, 2006

"The probably with money is once you have it, it's no longer motivation."

J: Bode Miller, in a 60 Minutes interview

Saturday, January 07, 2006

"Club sandwiches, not baby seals."

O: Sign on side of truck or bus

Jason: You know who else I wonder whatever happened to?

Jeff: Who?

Jason: Jin.

Jeff: ... I think he's still in Evanston.

Jason: Hey Jin!

Friday, January 06, 2006

"That's how rumors get started."

J: Caelan J.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

"I still think we're the better team."

J: Matt Leinart, not two minutes after USC's 41-38 loss in the BCS Championship game

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Jeff: I think attendance is going to drop by 40% tomorrow.
Caelan J: I think attendance dropped 40% by the second hour

Monday, January 02, 2006

"Help me Leon! Heeeelp!"

J: Ashley, Resident Evil 4, the reason I haven't updated QOTD regularly as of late

Friday, December 30, 2005

Worst kicker ever

J: Shared sentiment among many NU students and alumni after today

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Owensesame: You look like Lakitu
MahKuRoss: That might be... sniff... the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me

J: Sarcastic chat

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

"Don't worry. If there's a problem, I'll take the fall."

J: Lady at Gamestop, after she overcredited my card for returning games

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

"Buy 3 pre-played games or DVD's, get one free."

J: Gamestop salesman; I bit hook, line, and sinker

Sunday, December 25, 2005

"It could be pleasant."

O: I-Ming Shiou, on Eric Cheung's Organ of Specialty

Merry Smegmas, I mean, Merry Christmas

Saturday, December 24, 2005

"I'd rather sing than dance because dancing is, like, retarded."

J: My cousin J.C., 13

Friday, December 23, 2005

"I'm a food!"

O: Gina Oka, on a special sushi roll made for her

"Man, were you wearing axe or something?"

J: Jeff L., curious about last Friday

Thursday, December 22, 2005

"Hey, I got into Notre Dame."

J: Congwatuwation, Tony

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

"Closed on Wednesdays"

J: Sign on Tofu House, after Tony and I made 4 wrong turns along the way to get there

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

"What's a Bio-Noid?"

J: Ryu Hayabusa, Ninja Gaiden III (Also a line from my first website)

Monday, December 19, 2005

"That's so Brokeback!"

J: Tony and I, ripping off a quote of Keith's

Sunday, December 18, 2005

"I remember [Dude]. Tim remembers [Dude]."

J: Ben W.

Friday, December 16, 2005

"We'd be happier if you took your shirt off."

J: Tam, to me (no you wouldn't...)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

"I like your shirt."

J: Many people, regarding my homemade t-shirt

Monday, December 12, 2005

"I think Jeff's sexually frustrated."

J: Jenny K., loudly and out of the blue

Saturday, December 10, 2005

"[Cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck]."

J: Elderly man at Polk Street stop, randomly making chicken sounds

Friday, December 09, 2005

"Koreans use metal chopsticks, so I think we have good micromanipulation skills."

J: Woo Suk Hwang, leader of Korean cloning team (courtesy of Time magazine)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Phil: It hasn't been green-lit yet, but it looks like it's gonna happen. Hayden Christensen's committed to it.
Bluff: From Darth Vader to Phil Hellmuth. He's in danger of getting typecast …

J: Phil Hellmuth interview on Bluff magazine (courtesy of

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

"Winners don't use drugs."

J: Universal arcade game message from William S. Sessions I put on the first slide of a Powerpoint file

Monday, December 05, 2005

"Just buy a Hustler."

J: Jon C.'s advice for seeing intact genitalia before the Anatomy final

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Stop calling the White sox the "sox", thats the Red Sox's nickname. Call the Red Sox the "Sox", because you guys copied our name in first place.

(and the reply)

Might want to do some research before you sound like a complete dumba$$. The red sox were known as the Boston Americans from 1901-1907 then became the red sox in 1908. The REAL sox franchise started as the white stockings in 1901 and in 1904 changed their name to the White Sox, so actually you stole our name. Loser

J: From the ESPN Baseball Messageboards (I need more real life interaction...)

Saturday, December 03, 2005

MahKuRoss (9:16:28 PM): there was a short time i didn't like saying "joy yee's"
SM3 gma (9:16:46 PM): due to its resemblance to 'boyee'??
MahKuRoss (9:16:53 PM): no
SM3 gma (9:17:20 PM): y?
MahKuRoss (9:18:43 PM): i think owen confused "joy yee" and some other name and created the longest running misnomer in the lexicon on jaj
SM3 gma (9:19:39 PM): HAH!!!

J: More dumb chat stuff (Mimi would be so pissed at me...)

Friday, December 02, 2005

"I should call you 'The Cat.'"

J: Dr. Williams, to me, about my table-jumping abilities

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Muscle Dysmorphia

J: Term of the day, and no, I don't have it

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

"Hey, you guys realize that when you get married [dramatic pause], you become someone's wife."

J: Deep Thoughts, by Caelan J.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

"I know a man who suggested honeymooning in Peoria."

J: James and Sons radio commercial

Monday, November 28, 2005

"The Spano-Germanic term for that kind of celebration is machoschadenfreude. Year after year, the old '72 Dolphins celebrate another team's loss, which means they'll always be legendary -- as the most insecure great team in pro sports history."

J: Jeff Merron article

Saturday, November 26, 2005

"Talk to honorable hand, honorable face ain't ristening."

J: Ling-Ling, from Drawn Together

Friday, November 25, 2005

"Super Jhee."

J: Brian W's description of the routers we bought

Thursday, November 24, 2005


J: Request for prayer leader for Thanksgiving dinner

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

"Jim Thome is going to your team."

J: My dad, informing me of the Jim Thome/Aaron Rowand trade over the phone

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

"A fortune teller told Sunyoung to beware my mom. She was right."

J: Mr. Train

Monday, November 21, 2005

"What's better than an IVF, GIFT, or ZIFT baby? Having many babies."

J: Rush Hospital video on infertility treatments

Sunday, November 20, 2005

"I bought her shots so that I wouldn't have to dance with her."

J: Jenny K., about Anna C., recalling 10/21/05

Saturday, November 19, 2005

"They have too many brown (South Asian) players to be in this game."

J: Samad, about the UIC M1 team (we won 21-14)

Friday, November 18, 2005

J: Too many quotes to pick on this first day of pelvic dissections.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

"And so ends the journey of spermatozoa... Carry on, you harbingers of life."

J: "The Saga of Spermatozoa," read to us in Histology class

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

"Every Filipino guy I knew in college was gay."

J: Jess H.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

SM3 gma (9:08:51 PM): turns out that korean jap i've been chatting with
SM3 gma (9:08:57 PM): her last name is . . .
SM3 gma (9:09:03 PM): guess
MahKuRoss (9:09:05 PM): kim?
SM3 gma (9:09:15 PM): nope
MahKuRoss (9:09:18 PM): lee?
MahKuRoss (9:09:20 PM): park?
SM3 gma (9:09:23 PM): no
SM3 gma (9:09:24 PM): no
MahKuRoss (9:09:27 PM): jhee?
MahKuRoss (9:09:30 PM): so?
SM3 gma (9:09:31 PM): no
MahKuRoss (9:09:31 PM): bang?
SM3 gma (9:09:32 PM): yes
SM3 gma (9:09:33 PM): no

J: Tony

Monday, November 14, 2005

"You can't do a pelvic thrust without your psoas muscle."

J: Kevin N.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

"You know what I've discovered since I've been at college? I'm all about ultimate frisbee."

J: Stewie, from Family Guy (by way of Joe)

Saturday, November 12, 2005

"Wow, a 13 hour sale on denim, and yesterday, I dissected a testicle. This is the best weekend of my life."

"You could have a date..."

J: My sister and I

Friday, November 11, 2005

MahKuRoss (1:30:04 AM): BOOO!!!
o wensesame (1:30:21 AM): i'm actually surprised it took you that long

J: More stupid late night chat

Thursday, November 10, 2005

"Samad has a really good body."

"Yeah, and his cadaver isn't bad, either."

J: Yasir and I, during anatomy lab

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Dr. Williams: "Who's the biggest geek in your class?"

Class: "Yasir! Yasir!"

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

"You can keep on drinking, if you want to go to jail."

J: Bar worker, to Shari, after someone cleared the bar by shooting pepper spray

Monday, November 07, 2005

"I guess that makes him Shemp."

J: Tony, about Owen, regarding the "Three Stooges" comment this past weekend

Sunday, November 06, 2005

"You should specialize in something that makes you worth hanging out with you. If you pick something like proctology, I should kick your ass."

J: Alex K.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

"You look like an Asian 50 Cent."

J: Keith, not the first person to tell me that

Friday, November 04, 2005

"Salt. Sugar. Sex. The deeper you go, the better it gets."

J: Dr. Kerns' mnemonic for remembering the function of cortex layer of the adrenal gland

Thursday, November 03, 2005

"Of course he's Filipino. Notice the speed."

J: Chris B.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

SM3 gma (10:37:26 PM): hamill explains, 'if you do it once or twice, it's either in bad taste or not funny, but if you do thirty-five of them, you're rolling on the ground'
SM3 gma (10:37:44 PM): u can see how i agree w/that statement...

J: Tony, trying to justify a 5 and a half year old joke

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

"Less-efficient aldehyde dehydrogenase in Asians (single gene mutation): May help to explain rarity of alcoholism in Asians, high prevalence of 'red-faced Asians' at TGIF."

J: My Preventive Medicine syllabus, obviously not written by someone who visited Korea

Monday, October 31, 2005

"Trick or treat!"

J: C'mon, it's Halloween...

Saturday, October 29, 2005

MahKuRoss (12:22:25 AM): i guess we all have a little tony in us
SM3 gma (12:24:01 AM): eh??
SM3 gma (12:24:10 AM): "He's in my behind!"

J: A couple of idiots chatting late at night

Friday, October 28, 2005

"The rectal sphincter is the smartest muscle in the body."

J: Dr. Kerns

Thursday, October 27, 2005

"Okay, you're done."

J: My preceptor, after only 70 minutes for a 4-hour block

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

"Here's the 1-2 pitch to Palmeiro... a ground ball, past Jenks, up the middle of the infield, Uribe has it, he throws... OUT! OUT! A White Sox winner, and a World Championship! The White Sox have won the World Series!"

J: John Rooney, calling his final game as the radio voice of the White Sox

Monday, October 24, 2005

"Why is your Superman shirt purple and yellow?"

"Oh, you know, Lakers..."

J: Owen, coming up with explanations for his Bizarro #1 t-shirt

Sunday, October 23, 2005

"Oh my gosh..."

"No way..."

J: Brian Anderson, and then Aaron Rowand, as Scott Podsednik hit a walk off HR off Brad Lidge

Saturday, October 22, 2005

"You wouldn't have liked that Venkat."

J: Venkat "Rickey Henderson" S.

Friday, October 21, 2005

"You're a good dancer."

J: Drunk Anna C., to me

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Malchir99 (10:15:58 PM): i guess i m bi-sox-ual

J: Venkat, declaring his love for both Chicago MLB teams

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

"Just a smalltown girl, living in a lonely world, took the midnight train something something something..."

J: Owen and I, trying to recall lyrics to Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'"

Sunday, October 16, 2005

SM3 gma (7:03:01 PM): actually, it'd be funny if she doesn't live up to expectations
SM3 gma (7:03:18 PM): in the sense that nike will have screwed itself

O: Tony, on Michelle Wie

"Here's the swing, and it's a ground ball to first. Konerko has it! Konerko steps on the bag! The White Sox have won the pennant!"

J: John Rooney, White Sox radio broadcaster

Saturday, October 15, 2005

"And now I have a successful career as a broadcast journalist, and I make my parents proud every time they see me on TV."

"So go and get your GED."

O: Radio commercial

Friday, October 14, 2005

MahKuRoss (12:37:03 AM): what do you call it when an old woman and a young man have a relationship?
SM3 gma (12:37:58 AM): sounds like my relationship

- Tony and Jeff

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

"He struck him out. The ball is in the dirt. Pierzynski is running. The ball is rolled to the mound. Pierzynski's still running. What's the story?"

J: Jon Miller, on tonight's mayhem in the ALCS

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

"You get volunteered for a lot of things."

J: Josh G.

Monday, October 10, 2005

"While as many as 10,000 foreigners legally teach the language at private English schools in Korea, the nation's media have been full of exposés about teachers with dubious credentials. "

J: The Globe and Mail, in a story about Canadian teachers

Friday, October 07, 2005

"And that's a White Sox winner!"

J: John Rooney, White Sox radio broadcaster

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

"I don't want your life."

J: Colin B., mocking a line from Varsity Blues

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

"Nobody should feel forced to expose themselves, except Jeff."

J: Dr. O'Brien

Saturday, October 01, 2005

"Just put a brown paper bag over her head."

J: Jason

Friday, September 30, 2005

"We found a set of keys upstairs. Palpate your pockets."

J: Dr. Jacobs, anatomy professor

Thursday, September 29, 2005

"You are the Anatomy god for today."

J: Dr. Williams, to me

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

"It's hard not to like a guy who doesn't know 'frumpy' but knows 'onomatopoeia."

O: Sam Seaborn, The West Wing

"Don't come to the game next Saturday."

J: "Anonymous" note thrown to me in Physiology class

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

"Life is a sexually-transmitted, uniformly fatal condition."

J: Dr. Elliot

Monday, September 26, 2005

SM3 gma (11:38:53 PM): i mentioned there's another ex in nyc too?
MahKuRoss (11:39:12 PM): no
MahKuRoss (11:39:19 PM): how many ex's do you have?

J: Tony and I

Sunday, September 25, 2005

"If he were a computer, he'd want to hit Control-Alt-Delete... His [quarterback] rating hasn't quite hit his number [18]."

J: Randy Cross, on Kyle Orton

Saturday, September 24, 2005

"So many ladies, you couldn't count. Even with calculus."

J: Goose

Thursday, September 22, 2005

"Don't do that. Act like you know people."

O: Annie Petersen

"Looks like you won't be kissing anyone tonight."

J: Some lady in the cafeteria

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

o wensesame (12:32:40 AM): i heard something about hot korean girls and had to join
MahKuRoss (12:33:01 AM): venkat's hot
MahKuRoss (12:33:03 AM): tony's korean
MahKuRoss (12:33:05 AM): and i'm a girl

- Chatroom madness

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

"I've got 'Saving Private Ryan.' Will's the one with 'Shaving Ryan's Privates.'"

O: Rick Devereaux

Monday, September 19, 2005

"I would [beep] her [beep] in front of her mom... Why aren't you looking? Are you gay or something?"

J: Man, to me, at the El stop

Sunday, September 18, 2005

"If David Ortiz was Korean, his name would be Wok Off."

J: Reader of Bill Simmons' column on's Page Two (That's not Korean!)

Saturday, September 17, 2005

"'I hate Hawkgirl' bulletin boards..."

J: Batman, Justice League Unlimited

Friday, September 16, 2005

Anime Clubbing

- Phrase of the Day

Thursday, September 15, 2005

"We're going to kick your asses."

J: Guy on other IM football team (we won by two touchdowns)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

"It might take until Tuesday..."

J: Prof. James Williams, rambling

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

"I've been to four Cubs games this year, and Derrek Lee was 1 for 15 in them."

J: Travis Y.

Monday, September 12, 2005

"I dug through rocks, I worked in holes, and I walked through sh**, and I ain't never smelled anything that bad."

O: New Orleans evacuee I interviewed today

Sunday, September 11, 2005

"It looked like you got pied in the face, and the ground was the pie."

J: Jeff Jhee, to J-Liu

Saturday, September 10, 2005

"High school! Callahan!"

J: Team Micro Machine, at the Chicago Heavyweight Ultimate Tournament

Friday, September 09, 2005

"You're supposed to show your jewels."

J: Mom, to Joe (not what you think it means!)

Thursday, September 08, 2005

"I'm so disappointed. There aren't any hotties here. Admit it, you were thinking the same thing."

J: Jenny K.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

"I got turned down by Rush. I ended up going to school 8 miles down the street at University of Chicago."

J: Speaker at today's orientation

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

"I love Donovan [McNabb]."

J: Terrell Owens

Monday, September 05, 2005

"You'll like this. I lost my wallet in a cab."

- Owen, to Jeff ("Like"?)

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Lei Ji

J: Name of student featured in Tommy Lee Goes to College

"[Jake's] totally showing you up."

O: My cousin Winnie, about my 9 year old nephew

Saturday, September 03, 2005

"So fun. So fresh. So Tony."

J: Billboard ad for the Tony Danza show

Friday, September 02, 2005

"You've come to a place where the Asian women date white men, and the Asian men date other Asian men."

O: Chhay Tea, on San Francisco

Thursday, September 01, 2005

"At Valley Lakes Country Club, in Chillicothe."

J: Chris Benson, telling me where he plays Texas Hold'em

Wednesday, August 31, 2005


J: My 40 yard dash time, in seconds (yuck!)

Monday, August 29, 2005

"Formatting C drive"

J: My computer, which actually formatted the external hard drive and wiped out all backups

Saturday, August 27, 2005

"Don't squint when you lift. You know why? Crow's feet."

J: Man, to me, in weight room

Friday, August 26, 2005

"... Just in case you wanted to know."

O: Sonya Koo

Thursday, August 25, 2005

"Since when did I become your internet bitch?"

- Jeff, to Owen

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

"Hell, I work with you, I don't even know what your power is. Green?! Green's not a power, green's a color!"

J: Superman, Losing Lois Lane (still funny one year later)

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

"Mine says 'Owen'."

O: Rebecca, about the alleged tattoo on her back

Monday, August 22, 2005

"No puppet sex tonight."

O: Iris and Kevin

Sunday, August 21, 2005

"I'm glad you couldn't get it off."

J: Nare, to Brian, after he and I and 5 other people couldn't remove a flat tire

Saturday, August 20, 2005

"In reality, none of us wants to be rich; what we want is to be richer than other folks."

O: from Popular Science article, mentioning a psych study that shows people aren't happy with a big raise if their neighbor ends up with a bigger raise.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

"I want some network dick."

O: Jessica, at dinner

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Here's a tip I never used: I understand you can learn a great deal about girldom by reading Pride and Prejudice, and I own a copy, but I have never read it. I tried. It was given to me by a girl with a little note inside that read: What is in this book is the heart of a woman. I am sure the heart of a woman is pure and lovely, but the first chapter of said heart is hopelessly boring. Nobody dies at all. I keep the book on my shelf because girls come into my room, sit on my couch, and eye the books on the adjacent shelf. You have a copy of Pride and Prejudice, they exclaim in a gentle sigh and smile. Yes, I say. Yes, I do.

- Don Miller, from Blue Like Jazz

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

"If Charlton Heston is the greatest over-actor of our generation, then the worst over-actor of our generation must be Vince McMahon."

- Jeff Jhee

Friday, June 24, 2005

"He said 'If we can't find anything to do, we'll go eat dog.'"

- Tony, on Jeff and his recent trip to Korea

Saturday, June 04, 2005

"I'm sorry about the f***ing flowers! You're going to be reading about this breakup in People magazine!"

- Toan Lam, voicemail

Friday, April 29, 2005

"Heathen-toward tendencies"

- Sonya Koo

Saturday, April 09, 2005

"But just remember, you're making a difference. or something."

- encouraging words from Derek Wing

Thursday, April 07, 2005

"Oh no. World Famous Monkey Boy, if you believe his jersey."

- Jeff Lasky

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Me: "How old were you when you finally said, 'Hey, I'm an adult!'"
Mom: (1 second pause) "49."

Monday, February 28, 2005


- word of the day

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

"You know, you're standing on my dog."

- woman from today's story, to my photographer, standing on a ritually arranged pile of bricks.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005


- written on back of parking enforcement golf cart

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

o W E n SesAMe : high school movies always remind me of what a nerd i am
MahKuRoss : every movie reminds me of what a nerd i am

- Owen, Jeff

Sunday, February 06, 2005

"I'm really good at prostate exams.... I have long fingers."

- Sonya (EW.)

Saturday, February 05, 2005

"You need a retreat of silence.... Just don't fall asleep."

- Josh Tao

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

"In the future, there are Asians in space... and they are boring."

- Minsoo (from "")

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

"Don't even get me started about you complete and total disregard for the comma. You hurt the comma's feelings. I think you missed about 30 of them in the paragraph."

- Aarons, Jared (and yes, he did write that "you")

Monday, January 31, 2005

"Don't you think the guy who comes up with the Carl's Jr. burgers must be the fattest guy in the world? ... Hey Steve, there's gotta be something else we can put on this burger.... fish sticks, calamari..."

- Chris, guy at my station

Sunday, January 30, 2005

Saturday, January 29, 2005


- name choice for my future daughter.

Friday, January 28, 2005

"It great to get to see you one last time."

- Toan

Thursday, January 27, 2005

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Monday, January 24, 2005

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Friday, January 21, 2005

Thursday, January 20, 2005


- word of the day

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

Tuesday, January 18, 2005


Monday, January 17, 2005


Sunday, January 16, 2005

"Fastest live shot I ever done."

- Rob

Saturday, January 15, 2005

"Well, you can take that off your list of things to do before you die."

- Ely Shih

Friday, January 14, 2005

"Owen Lei, going above and beyond the call of duty."

- John White, after seeing me get hit by a police taser

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Bob: "How can you say that? You're the funniest comedian in the world."
Jack: "I stand corrected."

- Bob Hope, Jack Benny

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

"It's like my old friend used to call it.. an 'Oh my God Mabel' moment... as in 'Oh my God, Mabel, git in here and take a look at this!'"

- Leslie

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

- my cat, who did nothing to warn me about the 4.3 earthquake tonight

Monday, January 10, 2005

"State of spiritual warfare"

- phrase of the day, Jonathan Choe

Sunday, January 09, 2005

"There are some really intense people that watch this show (chuckles), and they'll scare you to your car.... and I mean that in a really endearing, positive, way."

- Kiefer Sutherland (24 premiere tonight!)

Saturday, January 08, 2005

"Can you imagine? She'd be saying 'wrap, wrap!' .... then I pull my IFB out... then I'm in control!"

- George Kiriyama

Thursday, January 06, 2005

"Heh, I was playing ball today (as you know), and some guy says, 'Oh great, give me the quick Chinese guy... And someone says, 'you're racist.' And he says, "I'm not racist, he's just quick."

- Jeff Jhee (not Chinese)

Monday, January 03, 2005

"Thanks again to the people who made this meal... uh... Owen Lei. Amen."

- Me

Saturday, January 01, 2005

"So what did you do for New Year's?"

- Tony So (Answer: I worked)