My father was a Tibetan sherpa, my mother a native of Tatooine. Through no fault of their own, they had me. Some called me child of destiny. Some, Mr. Wubbles. But not Destiny's Child. That's a vocal group... sometimes. Our only similarity is that we both pay our automo-bills.

As a young... Ethan Hawke... I often found myself in the company of dignitaries and hobbits. As a teenager, I once invented the telephone. But only out of necessity.

My college years were marred by a succesion of gyros and fuzzy couches.

In December, I took this job in Omaha. Unfortunately for me, I took it on December 12th. You see, I happen to be dyslexic, but only on days that are the same number as the month. Mayo de Cinco is always a bad time.

Anyway, I thought I was taking a job in Ahamo, a quiet province in the Japanese prefecture of Aksarben.... oh. I think I just now got the name of that former racetrack and will thus end this line of thought.

But it is nice here. I have noticed a lot of Chinese buffets. And one Warren buffet. Coincidence?

I plan to spend my time here covering news, visiting landmarks, and annexing Elkhorn.

With more complete coverage, O w e n L e i, K E T V N e w s w a t c h 7.